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User blog:Kittiaraeng.eli/Clare
"Look Clare" Eli said, in softer tones. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have yelled, but why are you doing this? You can still call me, it's okay, really" Eli said earnestly. "I'm sorry?" Clare said uncertainly. "I just thought it might work out a little better, or at least help in some way." She said. "Clare, it doesn't help, at all! You've got to stop, please, before you really hurt yourself." Eli pleaded. "Well, I guess I could twist an ankle or something, but we have to run in gym so it can't be that dangerous" Clare said. "Clare, I'm not talking about you '''running" Eli said, air quoting 'running'. "Then what in the world are you talking about?" Clare asked, bewildered. "I'm talking about this!" Eli said as he grabbed her arm. "Why are you doing this?" He asked. "Oh honestly Alli" Clare said exasperated. "I'm not cutting myself Eli! I was washing my hands and the latch on my bracelet cut me." Clare explained. "Clare, you don't have to make up excuses. I know why you feel like you have to do it, but this won't stop your parents' divorce" Eli said, trying to sound convincing. "I know that Eli" Clare said, starting to get frustrated. "Nothing's going to stop this, but I'm tired of sitting around crying and asking you to come save me all the time. I can take care of myself." She said, trying not to get angry. "Cutting yourself isn't taking care of yourself" Eli said, getting equally frustrated. "Oh my-- Eli! I'm NOT cutting myself!" Clare said, finally letting the annoyance show in her voice. "I don't know what to do if you can't admit that you're doing it first Clare." Eli said sadly. "Ugh! I'm not doing anything!" She nearly shouted. Finally fed up, she walked down the hall, out the doors and started walking home.' '''Damnit, Eli thought to himself. Yea that really worked Goldsworthy!! What was he supposed to do? He had suspected as much, but it still came as a shock. He didn't understand why she was still denying it though. He could understand why she wouldn't come to him and ask for help, it had to be hard for someone to do that, but he told her he wanted to help. What more could he do?r' The nerve! Clare thought angrily walking home. Why doesn't he believe me? Am I really that much of a suicide rick to everyone? She asked herself in exasperation. It was ridiculous for Eli and Alli to think such things. Really it was. Clare had considered it, but decided running was better. But no one even believed her! She walked inside and went upstairs. Her mind was so full, she desperately needed a run. She changed her clothes, stretched and she was off. After about an hour she decided to go home. On her way back, she took a different route, taking the long way home. It would give her longer to cool down and catch her breath. As she rounded the corner, she saw a familiar face walking towards her. "Hey Jess" Clare said, faking a huge smile. "Oh, hey Clare! What's up? I didn't know you ran" Jess said. "It's new." Clare said. "Cool, I was just out on my run too. I was about to turn back, wanna walk together for a while?" Jess asked. "Sure" Clare replied. They walked for a few minutes, catching their breath and letting their hearts return to a normal pace. "So where's the boyfriend tonight?" Jess asked casually. "Oh, I don't know" Clare said, trying for coolness. "Fight?" Jess asked, catching her tone. "Kinda" Clare said. "Wanna talk about it?" Jess asked. "He thinks I'm hurting myself, but I'm not. And he won't believe me." Clare said sadly. "Why would he think that?" Jess asked. "You don't seem the type" Jess continued. "Because, things at home are bad and my friend Alli saw a cut on my wrist. But it was from my bracelet" Clare showed her the bracelet in question. "Oh I have the same one!" Jess exclaimed. "It's constantly cutting me too, it's so annoying!" Jess said. Clare breathed a sigh of relief. FInally, She thought, someone believes me! "Well, this is me. You came out pretty far" Jess noted, walking towards her house. "I didn't realize how far I went" Clare said with a small laugh. "Hey Clare?" Jess asked. "Yea?" "What school do you go to?" She asked. "Degrassi, why?" Clare answered. "Oh my gosh! I'm transfering there next week! I have to get away from my psycho ex!" Jess said laughing. "That's great" Clare said, sincerely. "I'll see you next week then" Clare continued, walking down the street towards her house. Once she made it to her street, she saw a black hearse in front of her house. She sighed, not knowing what to expect. She walkedcloser to the car and saw Eli sitting on the drivers' side. She got in on the passengers side and sat there, waiting for him to say something. Finally she began to wonder if she should just go, but as she was making up her mind, Eli turned to look at her. "I'm sorry Clare. I should 'have believed you. You've never lied to me before, so why would I think you would now? I've just been really worried about you lately. You're the most important thing to me, I just wanna be here for you and help in any way I can." Clare sat there for a moment, thinking about what he said. FInally she sighed and looked at him. "It's okay Eli, I understand. I'd be worried about you too if it were you. But you're right, I wouldn't lie to you about this. In all honesty, I did consider it. But when my sister got raped, she tried to kill herself by cutting her wrist. And instead of helping anything, it just made it worse. So I decided I wouldn't do it, no matter what my alternative was. So I chose running. Sometimes, it's like I'm outrunning my problems. I dont think, I don't feel. I just ''go." She finished. Eli grabbed her hand, and linked their fingers together. Clare looked up at him and smiled. "You better get inside, it's getting dark" Eli said at last. "Clare sighed. "Yea" She said, obviously not wanting to leave him. "i guess I should." She said looking at the door, but not moving. "Clare?" Eli said, catiously. "Yea?" She said turning to him. ' '"I love you."''' Category:Blog posts